Flatter me not!
In an ongoing effort to train our children in godly honesty, I dove this week into the topic of false flattery versus worthy compliments. Using real-life examples, I showed my ladies how meaningful a compliment is when it is spoken in truth, but how empty and dishonest flattery is in contrast.
“He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” ~Proverbs 28:23
At the same time, I tackled the issue of building each other up. I explained how constant negativity and harsh words can harm others, but how words of encouragement and honest praise are a blessing to the recipient.
“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” ~Proverbs 25:11
I encouraged them to guard their tongues, choose their words carefully, and refrain from false flattery. I called on them to make an extra effort to look for opportunities to build each other up.
Words from Mother often lose their potency en route to young brains, and I wondered what effect if any would come of it. Any conscientious parent thrills to see a bit of maturity and compassion in her children. Would they prove to have listened and taken the lesson to heart?
You decide.
After a small child wet on my last skirt (yes, that happens quite often), I dug out a pair of fun pink floral capris from our Hawaii days. Several issues here: floral pants, however great they look in Hawaii, are just not happening in the desert. Second, I wear pink about as often as…well, as often as my last pair of clean bottoms serves as somebody’s urinal…less often actually, since I seem to be wet by my smallest children frequently. Third, stretch capris and my five-pounds-over-the-limit body are not highly compatible. I weighed my options: pink floral capris one size too small or hubby’s boxers. I squeezed into the capris and returned to my brood.
Everyone had something to say about Mommy’s new look.
Marissa took to heart my lesson on not handing out empty flattery: “Mommy, do you really think that outfit matches? I mean…really!”
Hannah was also not to be accused of excessive flattery, although her approach was slightly more gentle: I think they match. I wouldn’t wear them, but they look good on you.
Emily, still a little girl, still wanting to be like Mommy, exemplified the simple honest compliment: I like pink pants…well, I don’t know…I guess…uhhh…blue is nicer…mumble mumble mumble…hasty retreat.
And Elisabeth, the quiet, introspective child, struggled to build Mommy up without flattery…but failed: Mommy, those pants are really ugly…but…they look nice on you. It’s just that I would never wear them because they’re too ugly.
Two things are slated for next week’s school schedule:
- Review lesson on avoiding flattery while building others up, and
- Cut apart pink floral capris and turn them into doll clothes (or just bury them).
I never was too fond of those pants anyway.




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