A few of the gems I collect when I really pay attention to the unintentional comedians in my midst, God’s little gifts of laughter:

What I found when I opened the pantry door.

From a then four-year-old Hannah paging through our now-worn story Bible:

“Look Mommy! It’s a picture of Adam and Evil.”

From Elijah, apparently quite fed up with beans lately:

“There’s nothing that I hate in this food. Cool!”

From my then three-year-old Marissa trying to call her aunt in Wisconsin and getting the phone answerer:

“Mommy, the washing machine is talking to me.”

From my nine-year-old Elisabeth, the philosophical one:

Me: What is discord?

Elisabeth: Unplugging cords.

A conversation among many after a trail ride in Bryce Canyon:

“I’m glad we got to ride horses instead of the plodding mules.”

“Plotting mules? What were they plotting?”

“World domination.”

“I doubt mules would really want to take over the world.”

“It could happen.”

“Nah. They’re too slow.”

From a superhero:

Elijah: Are there any bad guys here?

Me: Nope.

Elijah: Good, ’cause I don’t want to have to fight anyone.

Emily watching the luge:

“If I were in the Olympics, I would throw up.”

Children with goals:

Elisabeth (9 years): “When I grow up I’m going to go through all the corn mazes I can find.”

Hannah: (13 years): I wanna be an old lady when I grow up, ‘cuz old ladies rock!

Elisabeth: Oooo, I want to be an old lady, too, so I can sit in a rocking chair and knit.

My son, eating my food:

“Mommy, I think you really need to get your OWN pancake.”

Elijah, naturally:

“Mommy, there’s chocolate spilled on the table. Should I taste it off?”

Elijah at the chess table for an hour:

“I’m playing chess. The knight is throwing all the bad guys in the lava. I call him Superman.”

I stayed up far too late listening to my then six-year-old Emily read me her entire journal. She ended with a reminder and a warning:

“Remember, Mommy, you’re not supposed to read my journal.”

Whispered by a confused Elijah when visiting a church with a cross hanging behind the altar. The Jesus carving on the cross looked remarkably like the David from his David and Goliath action figures:

“I didn’t know David died on the cross, too.”

And I leave you with these words of encouragement from my husband:

“Just remember, the best is already behind you.”

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